Have you Mastered the Art of “Adulting?” Determine your “Adulting Factor.”
by Jennifer Schell, CEO and Founder of Finliti
Every day, my social media outlets are flooded with failed attempts of “adulting.” Failing to “adult” is the feeling of being overwhelmed with life’s responsibilities required of a functioning— contributing member of society. As one of the oldest millennials on the internet, I can fully relate to this situation and have put forward some direction on the topic. I invite you to determine your “adulting factor”.
Can you commit to being an adult?
Are you able to be alone with your thoughts or in a public place by yourself? If the answer is no, you may be frightened by your own self-awareness. You can’t be an adult and a dependent at the same time. Take a deep breath and commit to chilling away from distractions and codependency. It may be scary at first, but you’re going to be fine.
1 POINT: YES
Do you have a lofty goal?
Do you have a vision or passion that excites you? If your pursuit is one without your input; it’s worthless. Visualize your future in your own mind so that you can make it happen. If you’re trying to live up to impositions by your surrounding peers and social groups, you will always feel inadequate. A goal must be something that you want for yourself. It should drive you towards activity. Not everything will work out as expected, but if you put in the work to see it through, a positive outcome will emerge.
1 POINT: YES
Do you have the time to achieve this goal?
Prioritize your goal and approximate how much time it will take you to achieve it. Compartmentalize the goal into 5 year increments. You can do a lot of amazing things in 5 years. You can lose 100 lbs; establish a new career; make it to the Olympics, or start a company. The possibilities are endless! You can also give yourself a deadline. After 5 years are up, if it’s not going the way you expected, you may have to pivot and find an alternative lofty goal.
1 POINT: YES
Do you have a functioning role in society?
Economically speaking, you are a contributing member of society, if you are employed, actively looking for work, or are a student. You’re also a functional adult if you have dependents because you are responsible for people other than yourself. Meal preparation is a redundant legacy expectation that does not constitute “adulting” today. Eating packaged baby carrots for dinner won’t make you a loser in life.
1 POINT: YES
Do you have a destination?
Are you where you need to be to accomplish your lofty goal? If your goal is to have a family… living in a small town…in a nice house…with a big yard— then it is an ideal destination. However, if your goal is to save the whales but you’re living in the prairies, then there is a serious misalignment of your goals. Don’t let society dictate your destination. You have to find your whales – so go to the ocean.
1 POINT: YES
Do you have a happy home life?
Are the people in your home and environment supportive of your goals and ambitions? What’s your support network like? You are the product of the company you keep. Your environment is your ecosystem and having one that is conducive to your well-being is essential for your personal growth. A happy home is a healthy home. Are you happy with those sharing your personal space with you in your household?
1 POINT: YES
Do you give yourself a break?
Once you climb to the top of a mountain, stop to take in the view. “Adulting” involves giving yourself a break every now and then and forgiving yourself for the need to rest. Even the best lights burn out eventually when they are kept on all of the time. It’s ok to binge watch a series on Netflix, go out with some good friends or take a vacation without the guilt.
1 POINT: YES
Do you control your own financial situation?
Money is the fuel to make your dreams come true. Use the amount of money that you need to finance your choices in life and understand that some choices are more expensive than others. Are you in charge of your own bank account, credit card and investments? If you don’t know what you have or what you can access, it’s a very unnerving feeling to be at the mercy of someone else’s intentions. Encourage yourself to be involved in your finances.
Having the freedom of choosing your own direction and making your own decisions work for you is why having money is important. You need to be able to budget how much a dream will cost and you can’t do that with someone else managing your resources.
1 POINT: YES
Can you learn to accept failure?
Have you ever been responsible for something that went horribly wrong for yourself or for others? If so, acknowledging that you failed is a sign of emotional maturity and indicates that you have the ability to be accountable for your actions. Denial is far more toxic than failure and leads to way more trouble in the long term. Failing gracefully demonstrates that you are a decent human being. None of us are infallible. Recovering from failure shows progressiveness and leads you one step closer to the success that you deserve. Innovation came from some of the worst “adulting” disasters. For example, AIRBNB founders Brian Chesky and Joe Gebbia couldn’t pay their rent and so they created a company to make due.
1 POINT: YES
Can you honestly answer all of these questions and put it together?
How did you factor? If you’ve scored any points, you belong on the spectrum of adulthood. With this framework, you can evaluate your progress whenever you feel the need to check your balance. When you are feeling unworthy of adulthood, keep track of your answers and refer back to these questions to remind yourself of all of your successful “adulting” endeavours.